By Bob Morris
What could you do in the event that your eighty-year-old father dragged you into his hell-bent hunt for brand spanking new love?
A few months after the dying of his spouse, Joe Morris, an affable, eccentric octogenarian, wishes a substitute. If he can get a brand new hip, he figures, why no longer a brand new spouse? before everything, his skeptical son Bob (whose personal love existence is a catastrophe) is appalled. yet suspicion quick turns to enthusiasm as he unearths himself trolling the personals, screening clients, chaperoning, and providing etiquette the way to his needy father. Assisted Loving is a hot, witty, and wacky chronicle of a father, a son, and their yr of relationship dangerously.
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Extra resources for Assisted Loving: True Tales of Double Dating with My Dad
Me neither. It’s effortless, correct? ” “Who says I went on my own? I went with a girl named Honey. ” “A girl named Honey? ” “She’s an administrator in my development, widowed, more youthful than me. ” As he tells me the tale of her lifestyles in a few element, I can’t support wondering the time he met one other Honey, a brand new York drag performer. i used to be reporting at the starting of a Broadway exhibit ten years in the past. Dad used to be my date. It used to be a night packed with excessive spirits and better hair. in the course of intermission I regarded as much as see him around the aisle in an lively dialog with a imaginative and prescient in a shimmering costume, perfect wig, and strong makeup—my father’s proposal of final ladylike glamour. He had no proposal he was once speaking to a guy, now not a socialite. yet here’s the item I’ll always remember approximately that evening: woman Honey (or was once it Lyp-sinka, one other drag big name? ) appeared entranced with him as he talked. Everyone—men, girls, and those that are in between—finds my father fascinating. So I shouldn’t be shocked girl named Honey has hopped into his scene the minute Edie in Florida hopped out. i'm attempting to get an image of her in my brain. He says she’s petite. brief blond hair. Perky. ok, yet may she be an enticing addition to our lives? And is she able to making Dad satisfied so I won’t need to fear approximately him anymore? “So, a film date,” I say. “With merits? ” “That was once my plan, yet now not hers. ” I have been creating a shaggy dog story. Now I don’t are looking to pay attention to any extent further. no longer approximately how he thought of inviting her as much as his residence after the motion picture, yet couldn't simply because then a person within the development may see them jointly. I additionally don’t are looking to pay attention approximately how he used to be angling to get invited over to her position, yet along with her daughter there it wasn’t “conducive. ” and that i definitely don’t are looking to listen how he desired to do much more than carry fingers along with her within the automobile whereas parked in her driveway. He tells me besides. “But she wasn’t exhibiting any curiosity at all,” he says. “And i used to be getting so annoyed that i ultimately simply informed her we had no destiny. ” listening to this, this girl named Honey grew to become distressed, then agitated. “But, Joey, i've got emotions for you, and that i inspiration you had them for me,” she stated. He instructed her that it was once by no means his plan to get critical, and that she used to be making an excessive amount of of his intentions. “And frankly, i used to be hoping for anything extra actual with you from the start,” he stated. “But i suppose that’s no longer within the playing cards. ” She didn’t comprehend what to assert. Awkwardness ensued in his Avalon. The porch mild was once on at her Tudor condo off nice Neck street. He became on a few effortless listening for a extra soothing and romantic atmosphere. He attempted to take her hand. She pulled it away. Frank Sinatra used to be making a song “Strangers within the evening” at the radio. He waited it out a couple of minutes, considering she’d succumb. Then he couldn’t wait anymore. Nature was once all at once calling, and because she wouldn’t invite him in, he needed to bum-rush her out of his automobile. “Side influence of the Lasix,” he stated. “Gotta pass! Sorry! ” She slammed the door and disappeared into her condo. “She’s too high-strung,” he tells me.